Jane

This story was shared with us through our Every Story Matters project. Jane is not her real name.

In the beginning it started with little things like calling me names such as 'slag' when I was going out. He would accuse me constantly of cheating and began checking my phone.  

After we split it became worse. He would turn up uninvited at my house saying he was there to see our child. If I refused to have sex with him he would threaten to hurt me. He would constantly send threatening messages if I tried to ignore him. He would tell me where would bury me if I moved on and met someone new, and that if I didn't want to be with him I should leave the area for my own safety.  

He raped me on a number of occasions and spiked my drink. He would throw things, punch walls and physically grab me if I tried to tell him to stop. 

He would take my money to buy alcohol and drugs. If I said no he would be more abusive until I backed down. This left me struggling to pay bills and buy food for me and my child. 

It still feels very raw and his absolute refusal to admit what he did to me has left me very angry. Although I still fear my ex I am so glad I left and went to court to fight for justice. I had so many worries about social services and how he would react if I reported him but none of it happened. [The domestic abuse service], Rape Crisis and my Isva (independent sexual violence advisor) have been my absolute lifelines. It's a long process but me and my son are moving forward with life and I am able to see a future free from abuse.